Never Smiles, so She's Meeeeeeeean") She's an intelligence officer with an idea so insane, it's just crazy enough not to work.Īmanda: Who do we call when the next Superman comes to take us out?Īmanda: How about the villains those heroes fought? (A splash screen for Amanda Waller comes up with bullet points: "-"Intelligence" Officer.
Her name is Amanda, played by Viola Davis. NC (vo): So we start Suicide Squad with someone sitting down for 20 minutes just talking about the main characters. The first scene is at a dimly lit meeting table with Doug and Tamara Chambers as Dexter Tolliver and Admiral Olsen when Amanda Waller (Adonis KJ Wright) slaps a binder marked "NUTS" down on the table) (The three of them look at the camera, before we start the reenacted review. Who would want to start Suicide Squad with someone just sitting down for 20 minutes just talking about the main characters? Our charts show that some people prefer it when you sit at a desk and do nothing. (Before NC can leave, Chart Guy 1 grabs him by the shoulder and pushes him back down to the chair)Ĭhart Guy 2: Negative. NC: All right, this is getting me hyped up! I'm ready for action! (Chart Guy 1 claps his hands, and the opening credits explode onto the screen, with neon colors, and guns and grenades flying all over the place)Ĭhart Guy 2: Nothing says dark and gritty like bright and neon. Though, we're also gonna have to redo the opening credits. You can cut him out all you want.Ĭhart Guy 1: Agreed. Joker: SCOOBY-DOOBY-DOO! (zips out of the room)
Which I can also say for those anal beads. NC: Wouldn't be able to act like an asshole for no reason?Ĭhart Guy 2: Oh, just like the real Jared Leto. NC: So, uh, while you're pretending to do that other stuff, why don't you also pretend that you're doing this "second grader discovering what a troll is" shtick? Joker: Yeah, but that's, like, dangerous. Listen, we appreciate that you're trying to create buzz, but doesn't the Joker murder people and blow up buildings? NC: You're gonna have to call him that every time, yeah.Ĭhart Guy 1: Oh, my God. Jared Leto playing Joker?Ĭhart Guy 1: I'm gonna have to call him that every time, aren't I? Joker: Jim? Who's Jim? Sounds like a handsome guy.Ĭhart Guy 1. (Joker continues laughing, finally pulling out his other fake grill) Joker: Well, I'm a man of many surprises.Ĭhart Guy 2: You're sure they aren't just plastic teeth? Joker: You’re holding anal beads! HAHAHAHA!! (Joker’s grill falls off his teeth while he laughs)Ĭhart Guy 2: Your authentic grills are falling out. How is this even funny? The Joker is supposed to be funny. (NC reaches inside the envelope, pulling out a set of anal beads) Ah, look, anal beads. NC: Yeah, he mails this shit like Leto, too, because the (in simpleton voice) real Joker would do that. (Joker tosses the envelope to NC, who catches it) Joker: Oh, by the way, (holds up a manila envelope) here you go. NC: Yeah, Jim's been playing Joker offset like Jared Leto did on the movie. (The Chart Guys yelp in shock Chart Guy 1 runs and cowers behind NC, while Chart Guy 2 stands there looking petrified) Joker: (putting his arm around Chart Guy 2) Hi! (Unbeknownst to the Chart Guys, Jim Jarosz appears as the Joker between them) (quickly and quietly) Decades.Ĭhart Guy 2: It's okay, we're doing it for the fans.Ĭhart Guy 2: (writing in binder with a Black Magic Marker) Cutting out what they liked the most.Ĭhart Guy 1: Let's go GOP on this sucker!Ĭhart Guy 2: Now, since we're incorporating more humor, obviously we have to drop the clown.Ĭhart Guy 1: Well, that goes without saying. NC: You're changing halfway just because a competitor is doing better?Ĭhart Guy 1: Well, D.C. NC: You mean the one I was told to do like another comic book trailer that may or may not have a talking raccoon in it?Ĭhart Guy 1: (quickly, to camera) We can't confirm nor deny that.Ĭhart Guy 2: Well, it was a big hit, and we need to add more comic. NC: (frustrated) What are you guys doing here?!Ĭhart Guy 1: The chart says we need to redo the review!Ĭhart Guy 2 (Malcolm): (examining the binder, which reads " The Plot") D.C.Ĭhart Guy 2: Remember when you made the trailer for this review? The one with the pop song? (They grab a binder on the table and take it away) The first Chart Guy is wearing a hat with "I Heart Charts" on it) (Suddenly, the Chart Guys ( Rob and Malcolm) rudely cut in.
#PUTTY SQUAD STARS CHART FULL VERSION#
(After the full version of Channel Awesome logo and the NC2017 intro, we fade to the Nostalgia Critic at his desk)
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